The journey of a thousand miles begins beneath one's feet

As promised, I'm going to start blogging again. Here we go.

It's almost a year since my last post and I told you that lots of things have happened. Ironically, I don't know what to write. Maybe I'll start with how I feel these days.

I don't feel happy.

I'm working in a big multi-national company, which recently been acquired by a much bigger multi-national company. That's good. But on the other end, I just feel like a drop of water in the sea. I miss being my own architect, developing things I like, using any tool or framework I want.

That's one.

The other thing, I always want to have my own business. Not the grand thing like the next Microsoft or Google (although that would be nice). I just want to have a simple small business, like a restaurant or massage parlor (with hot chicks under my employment, yay!).

That's two.

The last thing, right now the world is having "startup fever". This trend is also happening in Indonesia. Now everyone with their uncle want build a startup, get investment, get acquired and exit with a load of money. Everything with "getting more money" is always good for me, and I hate just sitting here watching other people partying.

That's three.

Because I miss architecting and hacking stuff, and I want to have my own business, and I want to join the startup wave, today I'm announcing that I'm opening a restaurant.

Oh, wait. You know I can't be serious. I barely know how to cook.

Actually, I'm in a very early stage of building a startup. Well, two, actually. What? Why? Shouldn't I suppose to focus on one first until it's launched?

It goes like this. I was starting on an idea, a website which suppose to help me scratch my own itch (that is, solving my own problem, and hopefully others'). But then a couple of weeks later a friend of mine asked me to become his co-founder. I told him that I'm currently working on something else, but he didn't mind at all, so there comes my 2nd startup. Both are not related to each other.

Will I quit my job now, lock myself for months and start hacking? Not quite. The stuff I'll be doing are totally not related with my company's line of business (so no conflict of interest), and I don't set deadline for the projects, so it'll just to "kill time" and won't affect my day job. Of course this might change.

From now on, I'm going to blog primarily about my experience in building that two startups (one where I'm solo and another where I have a co-founder). I hope by doing this, I can keep motivating myself (and, oh, make myself happy!) and help others who want to build their own startup.

Note: Some of you might be curious about this blog title, "Isn't that supposedly "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"? According to http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/24004.html, the more correct translation from the original Chinese would be the one I put in the title. Rather than emphasizing the first step, Lau Tzu regarded action as something that arises naturally from stillness. Another potential phrasing would be "Even the longest journey must begin where you stand." In other words, you must get your ass off your comfort zone.

I'm still alive

Hi guys, just to let you know that I'm still alive. Lots of things have changed since my last post. I promise I'm going to blog more often. Stay tuned :)

Being better, necessary?

Nobody is perfect. Everyone have their own weaknesses: pasts, habits, limitations. It's not to say that you don't need to do anything about that—that would be a lame excuse. Everyone have to make themselves better.

But sometimes you cant change some of your weaknesses. No matter how hard you try.

In relationship, this is the Stop/Go factor. If your partner's OK with you and all of your "remaining" weaknesses, then it's a Go. This is what being "compatible" is.

Otherwise, it's a Stop and Bye. And there's nothing wrong with that. If everyone always accept their partner's weaknesses, there would be no break-up in this world, and first boy/girlfriend will always be your only boy/girlfriend (and consecutively, your forever husband/wife).

So, knowing that shit happens, should you make yourself better? Of course. It's for your own good.

How some men treat women

Contrary to popular belief, men do think using their logic when it comes to relationship. Some men, including me, divide women they want to be "in relationship with" (I use this term loosely) into essentially two groups: for-fun and serious (sometimes even wife material). "Serious" doesn't mean there're no fun in it. It just means he's willing to go further.

Some men take positive-negative approach (have hope with the relationship, but will fallback to for-fun if it doesn't work, or simply dump her) or negative-positive approach (never intend to be serious, but might change over time). The important thing is: they can change their mind. I'll get back to this later.

The fun/serious division is sometimes not obvious. After all, a man can do anything to get what he wants, including pretending to be committed. You can not see his seriousness from his acceptance ("I'm OK if you're fat/divorced/minority"). Those who serious will accept you as you are. Those who just want you for sex simply don't care.

Instead, observe his devotion to you. A man who wants to be serious with you will invest in you, because he knows you're worth it. The more valuable his devotion, the more serious he's likely to be. The most valuable thing is not his money, he can get that more. It's his dedication: his thought, energy and time.

BTW, this hint does not apply to guys whose thought/energy/time redirection yield no difference (i.e. using his time to work or sleep or dedicating it to you makes no difference, probably because his time is worthless). If the man's time is so precious for him yet he spend it for you, then it must be something.

Let me give you an example. Assume I'm in relationship with a woman. She gives me everything I want and she's physically hot, but she's addicted to drug. And just assume that I have issue with her addiction, probably because I know drug is not good for her health and I don't want her to waste her life. If I put her as for-fun, I wouldn't need to worry about that. As a matter of fact, it is stupid for me if I force her to quit: she'll be upset and hate me, I'll loose the fun she gave me (e.g. sex). Simply no benefit for me.

But if I'm serious with her, I will that that risk. I will ask her to quit, with the risk of her hurting me in the process. I know I might loose the short-term fun she give, but I know it's worth it because I still want to see her alive and healthy in next 20 years.

If I'm even more serious with her, instead of telling her to quit and leave her fight the trouble alone. I will help her with research (on how to effectively remove the addiction), accompany her to care center, support her and be with her.

But no matter how hard I try, I can never change her mind. If she's so stubborn, there are only two options left: leave her or accept her the way she has become. For me? I will leave her. What's the point of loving somebody who doesn't love her own body?

The case for Indonesia

My mom always wants me to go back and work in Jakarta. I can understand her situation. After my dad passed away, she's now alone. I'm working in Malaysia, my sister's studying in China, and while my other sister's staying with mom, she's working in shift as a nurse.

Going back is easy, but finding job that's "good fit" for me is not. I'm up in the level where it's too expensive for companies in Indonesia to employ me in my current position (Software Engineer a.k.a Techie Guy). It's not that they can't offer me high salary, but it's reserved for managerial positions. Since I'm already specialized, I might not be a good manager (and the horror of administrative tasks, oh no!).

There is another reason why I don't want to go back: the "everything else" is not getting any better—it's even worse. When I traveled from my place to a friend's, the traffic sucked. Even sucked more when it's raining. The once-adored Busway now looks slummy. Once-respected BlueBird taxis screwed me twice!

When I read the paper, it's always about corruption and disasters. When I turned on the television, the only things playing were Take Me Out (and its variations) and infotainment shows. Everything broadcasted on paper and on air were all hyped and negative. To be fair, news in Malaysia could be worse, but I don't follow them.

I love my country. My family live there. Most of my friends are there (or "stuck" there, as some of them told me). The natural attractions are beautiful and the ladies are friendlier :) I even plan to spend this year to travel around Indonesia even though my friends told me, "Why travel there if you can go somewhere else?" But the condition is hostile for my career and my sanity.

I may go back and spend a couple of months when my contract ends. But that's because of the important things I mentioned above (family and stuff). I don't plan to pursue my career there—except maybe when I start my own business (a restaurant?).

Another interesting week

I'm getting lame at making blog titles. Anyway, here's a quick round up of this week. I'll obliviously think I'm a celebrity to justify the importance of this post. Readers be warned.

I was assigned the role of Toastmaster of the Evening (TME) for last Wednesday's Toastmasters meeting. It's like being Master of Ceremony (MC). I had attended meetings for dozen of times, but I'm so ignorant that I couldn't remember how the previous TMEs did their job. So I contacted Penny Chin, a fellow member, to help me prepare. She's so great at explaining it, but I was so shallow (and yes, ignorant) that during D-day I performed awfully. At least everybody laughed.

In the meeting there were some guests, all new faces, mostly cute chicks including a French girl who works as translator and has traveled all over Asia <-- if this information is not accurate then I definitely not paying attention to her talk. But the guest that interested me most was a guy named Khairul. No, I'm not gay.

Shameless plug: The club I'm a member of is quite international. We have members from Indonesia (me), Russia, Myanmar, Taiwan and Pakistan (and of course, Malaysia). If you're in Kuala Lumpur and want to sharpen your communication/leadership skill the fun way, feel free to come. Guests are most welcome, and it's free.

Back to Khairul. He's a quiet guy most of the time during the meeting. But just now I checked his website (he gave his name card), and wow I'm amazed. I never thought there is any Web 2.0 guy in Malaysia. Skimming at his blog, I can see he's passionate with Web technology. Cool. And he's the one who brought the French girl to our meeting. Even cooler.

The thing is, I'm a really Web 2.0 geek, developer type. That's why I'm enthusiastic when encountering geeks-alike. I don't just use Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, FourSquare, and numerous others, but I also longing to develop something like those. I'm currently developing a super-awesome-caffeine-induced social thingy in my secret underground lair. I'll keep you updated on that.

Apparently one French a day was not enough. After the meeting, Penny said she wanted to pick up this French guy who supposed to stay at her house. She joined a website where people can host foreigners. I thought the idea was dangerous and crazy. We followed Penny to a nice Mamak nearby KLCC and met the guy. He's nice and polite. Maybe the idea wasn't that crazy.

The day after I went to watch movie in KLCC with Penny and the gang, including the French guy whom I can't remember his name (it's French). I had some interesting conversations with him. He said he was from Australia where he worked there for some months using Working Holiday Visa.

He also shared his experience when he first arrived in Bali. He told me that some guys were "very friendly" to pickup his bags for him, but then they escorted him to money changer to claim their fee. He also thought the taxi driver took him around to increase the meter. Classic.

That's the problem in Bali (but I guess in many tourism places as well), some people are just like to take advantage of clueless tourists. I told him that I experienced the same even though I'm *Indonesian*. Either they're preposterous or I was really stupid (I think both). Next time when you plan to travel, better do your homework before you get there. Ask Google.

Interesting two weeks

Here's a story: A Singaporean girl asked an Indonesian guy for a place to stay in KL. The guy recommended his property agent, a Malaysian, to help her find a room. She moved to the designated house where two guys were currently staying.

One of the guy, an Iranian, had interest in her but apparently didn't know how to make a proper move. Feeling intimidated and harassed, the girl told her Dutch boyfriend about it. The unhappy boyfriend came with his British friend and gave the Iranian a lesson—with a baseball stick. The other guy who lived in the house, a Burmese, came to tell me the story. Now that's what I call "international incident".

The past two weeks have been interesting. Apart from that movie-like incident, lots of stuff have kept me busy. I had to prepare my 2nd assignment speech in Toastmasters, and came out with a nice topic: How to get girls. I was awarded Best Assignment Speaker (got edible souvenir, nice), but the girls in the club now look at me meticulously as if I a playboy. Annoying, but worth the souvenir.

I also bought a Sennheiser, model HD 280 Pro. For RM580, the headphone performs well, but not over my expectation. It's a bit weak on the bass (e.g. not "punchy"), but superior on percussions.

And then I went to Butterworth with my colleague, assisting him installing software in client site. It was a four-day trip, and we went to Penang in Sunday. Took some pictures which you can see in my Facebook. If you can't see it, just go to deviantArt for a higher resolution version. Here's a sample:

A day after returning to KL, I went to DBKL with some fellow Toastmasters to watch Yamato Drum Concert. The concert was a wow, you can watch some of their performances in YouTube. After the show they took me to SkyBar in Traders Hotel. Finally! I was longing to go there since before New Year 2010 because my friend told me they have a good view of the Twin Tower KLCC. Indeed they have:

And tonight I'll fly to Jakarta.

Accident in front of my eyes

I always believe I'm here in this world to serve a greater purpose. I try very hard to absorb knowledge as much as I can, especially in the field of (information) technology and human interest, because I believe I can make a difference to this world with technology. I believe I must be a better man to better help others. But maybe I think too far.

Last weekend I was in Jakarta doing my regular social visit. While crossing a busy street at the heart of the city, I saw—in front of my eyes—an accident happening. A car nudged a motorbike, causing the biker to loose control and fell.

Like a computer, my brain thought fast crunching possibilities. What should I do? Should I help the biker first or stop the car? (In Jakarta, people tend to run away when they cause a traffic accident) How should I help the biker? Is it safe to raise him to the side of the road? With all those thoughts popping up, you expect that I came up with something brilliant right? But in fact, I just stood there staring blank until some guys showed up and started giving hands. I didn't know what to do!

We moved the biker aside, secured his bike, but the car escaped (I told you). Had I acted fast, the car would still be there for us to demand his responsibility. All of a sudden I shivered: What if this thing happened to someone I care so much, and no one else nearby but me, yet I know nothing about first aid!

The guy had a small injury, hopefully no broken bone. But after I left the scene, I felt regretful for not knowing what to do. I have a high IQ and high dreams, but I acted stupid and did nothing. I feel ashamed for that.

Toastmasters dan 7 Habits

Pernah dengar Toastmasters? Toastmasters adalah social club untuk pengembangan kemampuan komunikasi dan kepemimpinan. Udah beberapa bulan ini gw bergabung disitu.

Awalnya gw sempat skeptis waktu diajak, "Ujung-ujungnya disuruh jualan nih." Apalagi yang mengajak cewek yang gw kenal di Internet, dan dia kerja di MLM :D

Waktu kuliah gw pernah dibohongi teman (if it's you who're reading this, yes you sucked) untuk ikut "seminar mengenai jaringan" saat mata kuliah Jaringan Komputer. Kecurigaan gw muncul begitu melihat nenek-nenek di dalam ruangan, "Lho dia tertarik TCP/UDP juga?" Ternyata seminar MLM.

Kembali ke Toastmasters. Disitu gw belajar banyak soal communication and presentation skills, gw juga mengenal banyak teman baru. Biasanya setiap pertemuan selalu ada tamu (non-member), dan kemarin teman gw mengundang seseorang dari Covey Leadership Center.

Begitu tau dia dari Covey, gw langsung bersemangat. Gw langsung nyerocos bilang kalau buku 7 Habits sungguh mengubah hidup gw. Gw cerita bahwa gw dulu suka malas-malasan, main game terus dan hidup gw ga jelas. Setelah membaca 7 Habits, gw mulai berubah menjadi seperti sekarang—tetap suka malas-malasan dan main game, tapi lebih baik :D

Anyway, kalau kalian ada waktu, coba deh lihat-lihat website Toastmasters, datang ke pertemuan mereka (tamu gratis kok). Mereka punya cabang di 106 negara termasuk Indonesia. Cek juga buku 7 Habits kalau kalian belum pernah baca, itu buku lama tapi worth to read. Cheers! :)

Gantungkanlah cita-citamu setinggi dinding

Ada yang bilang, "Gantungkanlah cita-citamu setinggi langit." Masalahnya adalah, selain secara praktek agak mustahil, menaruhnya terlalu tinggi akan membuat gw sulit melihatnya.

Sebagai suatu objective statement, kita harus menaruh cita-cita di depan mata agar senantiasa terlihat. So you know where you're supposedly heading. Itu sebabnya gw menulis keinginan-kenginan gw di kertas lalu menempelkannya di dinding, tepat di depan mata.

Gw memasang foto di atas bukan untuk pamer, bukan juga untuk bercanda. Beberapa sangat masuk akal ("Buy drybox"), beberapa ga berhubungan dengan profesi gw ("Learn Salsa"). Beberapa bahkan terlihat menggelikan, tapi ga ada salahnya menginginkan Jaguar kan?

Ga semua cita-cita gw tercantum disitu. Bukan karena ga penting, tapi karena capek menulisnya :D Nanti, seiring berjalannya waktu, gw akan menambah/mengurangi kertas disitu. Dari semua yang tertulis, yang paling mudah dipenuhi adalah semua yang berawalan "Buy..." karena fulfillment factor-nya hanya satu: uang. Yang tersulit adalah objektif yang berkelanjutan, misalnya makan sayur.

Apakah gw ingin semuanya terwujud? Tentu. Apakah gw akan kecewa kalau ada yang ga terwujud? Tentu. Apakah gw akan berhenti melakukan hal ini kalau sebagian besar ga terwujud? Tentu tidak.

Ga selalu semua tujuan kita harus tercapai, tapi menjalani hidup tanpa tujuan sama dengan menembak tanpa target. Bagaimana bisa tau kita semakin baik/buruk kalau ga ada tolak ukurnya?

Catatan: Fotonya bisa diklik untuk menampilkan ukuran sebenarnya. Sebagian kata-kata di foto sengaja gw buat kabur karena private and confidential :)